Defend myself in my Accutane journey

In case you were wondering, the miraculous acne medication, Accutane (isotretinoin), is as fun as it sounds.

Accutane is a six month program, which means I have three months left. The drug is definitely doing something – I went from decent skin to smooth and fair to bumpy, itchy, and dry, all within a month. But I’m counting the days until I’m done with Accutane and its terrible, adorable, infuriating side effects. My pores are getting smaller, much to my delight, but that also means that the medicine pushes all the acne dirt to the surface of my skin.

I’m getting very, very good at avoiding mirrors.

It will be worth it. This is what I keep telling myself. If it worked for the “Star Wars” actress, Marguerite Ridley, it can work for me. (I was watching one of Daisy’s interviews and immediately told everyone around me that she took Accutane too. OMG, can you believe it ?! It helped me feel better in my thinking – for a while.) My body is healing and it takes time. Healing is not always beautiful. I try to give myself permission to be, as I am, with dry skin and awkward tan lines and a very stuffy nose.

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I knew the consequences, so my Accutane trip was more or less uneventful. I tried to push the pill through my feeding tube, but the inside of the capsule was sticky and impossible to capture in a syringe, so I started taking it orally. Every night after dinner I take my pill like a good patient. Every month I see my dermatologist and smile when the nurse gives my caregiver’s daughter a variety of stickers. Then I squeeze out a large amount of blood from my finger to prove that I am not actually pregnant.

Urine samples give me more of a problem than they’re worth, so despite my terrible veins, it’s easier to test my HCG Levels. If the lab techs would listen when I told them, “No, you won’t find a vein. It doesn’t matter how good you are at your job. Just swipe your finger and do it, ”that wouldn’t be that bad. But they don’t. Naturally. Who am I to suppose that I know my body better than a stranger?

It is not abnormal. It happens every time I get blood drawn. But now that I have monthly lab appointments, I’ve found that my nonsense threshold has dropped quickly. I’m sick of getting stung. I’m sick of defending myself to people who are meant to be my defenders.

I specifically ask for a finger swipe when scheduling lab appointments, but that doesn’t matter. The last time I walked in the technician looked at me and said, “Do you mind if I look at your arms?” “

“I have really bad luck,” I told him. “No one ever finds anything. “

“I’m really good at my job,” she insisted.

She slapped me with my heating pads and tourniquets attached and, of course, couldn’t pat a vein. – I don’t understand, she said, looking at my elbow with visible embarrassment. “It’s right there! I should have blood!

I bite my lip. Internally, I did the Oprah “told you” nods.

It took two finger strokes to fill the bottle. She talked about radio and the “Avengers” and (spoiler alert) Tony Stark – she was with Captain America all along, but Tony’s death did pull on its sensitive cords. I turned the page of my e-book and decided that I was not going to have this kind of treatment anymore.

The medical treatment, yes, but I also really like Tony Stark.

Overall, I have had great experiences with healthcare professionals. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or rude. But it is frustrating. I’m sick of it – bruises, tourniquets, people doing their job well. The worst part is that they probably have are, but I also know my body well. I have lived there for 24 years. I started Accutane in the first place because I want to help my body heal. I know what works – and not the blood tests.

Next time, I’ll make eye contact with the technician. When they ask my permission to search for a vein, I will not give it to them.

I know my body better and I won’t rest until people hear what I have to say.

***

To note: SMA News Today is strictly a disease news and information site. He does not provide any medical advice, diagnostic, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnostic, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a health problem. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional and do not delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of SMA news today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to stimulate discussion on matters relating to spinal muscular atrophy.




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